Friday 5: Pumpkin Fails

While fall doesn’t officially arrive until Sunday the consumer in us all has been awakened with the early arrival of a pumpkin infused fall. Yes, it’s that time of year again folks, get ready because pumpkin flavored everything is coming to town. Whether you’re obsessed, nauseated, or a little unsure as to who decided pumpkin and corn syrup would be a good match, here’s a list of 5 pumpkin flavored things we probably didn’t need.



justin_pinnaclevodka_pumpkinpie1.) Pumpkin Pie Vodka

What better way to warm up to cooler weather than with a fall inspired cocktail, right? Pinnacle vodka announced the arrival of their pumpkin pie flavored vodka as a “limited edition delight that offers the rich, sweet taste of pumpkin blended with the smooth, spicy flavor of cinnamon and nutmeg, topped with a delectable dollop of whipped cream.” Unfortunately, that rich and spicy aroma was received a little differently by a group of tasters at the Huffington Post who described the vodka as “nightmarish extreme” and “it tasting like the horrible medicine your parents made you take when you were a kid.”






pumpkin mallows2.) Jet-puffed Pumpkin Spice Mallows

Ok, you got me. I love marshmallows. But as the old saying goes, too much of a good thing is… bringing us to our number two on the unnecessary pumpkin flavored list. Pumpkin flavored marshmallows. While I can’t say they would taste bad I’m more baffled as to why we needed the addition of more corn syrup in a corn syrup based product.



Pringles3.) Pumpkin Spice Pringles

Now I have seen it all. Pumpkin flavored potato chips. Yes, you heard me right. And yes, everything about this is wrong. The Huffington Post reported that while they were “surprisingly not revolted” isn’t exactly a slam dunk, this was probably the least offensive flavor.” Other autumn inspired flavors include, cinnamon sugar and white chocolate peppermint. Cringe.







pumpkin bagel4.) Thomas Pumpkin Spice Bagels

As a native New Yorker and bagel aficionado I’m appalled and have only this to say: Bagels are perfection, there is nothing wrong with the bagel, the bagel is timeless and does not need to be added to. Pumpkin, I’m sorry but you cannot have the bagel.






5.) Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts

Revoltingly sweet, completely unhealthy, and probably the least likely to taste like pumpkin pie as we know it. Ashamed as I am, I want to try these.






There we have it, 5 things we really didn’t need pumpkin spiked. Wishing you all a happy and healthy fall season!